His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
