Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
