I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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