just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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