i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
