evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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