Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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