He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
