omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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