So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
