I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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