i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
