I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
