Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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