fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
