Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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