omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize