Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize