If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
