Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
