Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
