Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
