Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
