Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
