Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
