I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
