I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i will never coherently bang her
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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