I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
