Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
