STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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