If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
