TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
