also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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