Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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