i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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