question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
