we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
