Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
