Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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