I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
