Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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