I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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