Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
