SEEEEXXX PLEASE
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize