His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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