So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
