p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
