well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
