Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
