It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
