I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Mom said you looked used
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
