when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
3 2 1 whiskey
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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