I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
