Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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