I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
