btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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