and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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