hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
