All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize