U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
