Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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