Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize